I am truly astonished how emotional I am about this election. Was reading the girlies an American Girl doll book about the depression - sobbing. Read an article about record numbers of early voting in my home county - weeping.
It's just been so hard watching so many people divided over this.
At the end of the day - and the beginning, and throughout - God is in charge, not you, not me, and not whichever candidate gets elected.
It is fascinating watching their neshamos, their souls, grow.
Motzei yuntiv on Monday night Sroch went with a friend to a women's simchas beis hashoeva where Rabbanit Yamima Mizrachi would be speaking. When at 11:00 PM I finally went to collect it, Sroch was sitting right in front - yawning, but enthralled.
Last night we went to the local Beit Shemesh annual concert (yes, I have taught my children to revere Shlock Rock) but tonight we spent the day doing stuff (Police Museum tour and demonstrations, dinner out in Yerushalayim after picking up the car from the repair $hop) and ended with another concert - for women, by women, starring people we know and love and people we don't know and love, and winding up with dancing and joy and it was great.
We get home. It's after midnight. The girls haven't showered since... um, a while, so I send Sroch off to one bathroom and I shower Llama in the other.
When I come back to Sroch to get Llama's toothbrush....
Sroch, are you in the shower yet?
"No, I was cutting my nails."
Sroch, you should stop, you're not supposed to cut your nails on Chol Hamoed.
"Oh. I never knew that."
I put Llama to sleep, and go to help the post-shower Sroch with her hair.
She is upset.
"I'm very angry with my school! Why do they teach us things we don't need to know, like geographiah, when there are things we NEED to know like not to cut your nails on chol hamoed! I am 10 years old already and I NEVER knew that! It's not RIGHT!"
...and she begins to cry.
And all I can do is hug her tight.
.... Tonight at the concert, Batya Israel sang a beautiful song she wrote upon the birth of her daughter, called 'Thank You,' part of which discussed how she has to nurture the neshama of her baby.
It is easy to forget that basically that is my ONLY job. Sure they need to be fed and taught hygeine and social skills and all that.
But for as long as they will listen to me, I have to nurture their neshamos.
So I'm hugging Sroch, and I remind her that God loves her, and it's really okay, she didn't know, and it's not like a light switch on shabbos, etc, etc, etc.
And maybe she's crying because it's almost 1 AM and it's the final push over the line into total fatigue and emotional drainage.
....and maybe she's crying because it's a time of year when we are so close to God, and she is so wanting to serve him properly, maybe she's crying for the same reason I'm crying: for her own pure little soul.
Guten moed everyone!
PS.... oh yeah. I was able to calm her down. And when she went to bed, Sroch turns to me and says, "Mommy? Thank you for teaching me."