Sorry, all the chipper, upbeat stuff I was gonna write about today (how she's now 62.5 centimeters tall, how she got her vaccine today like a pro, how she slept badly last night but we have hopes for tomorrow, how we had a great time in the backyard today, etc) just got null-and-voidified. Her sleeping has been mondo fitful in the last few days. Just now, I was busy, actively addressing my increasing panic about having enough milk stored for her when I go back to work next week, when she woke up (only 1 hour since she woke up the last time). So I detach from the machine and go in to feed her back to sleep. But because of my activities, she has to work a little harder to get the milk out, and so instead (she's fully awake now) she just arches and cries and in short, prolongs her own misery.
This is when I went from "happy little mother" to "stressed out, not coping woman" with a speed that a Porche could envy.
I pop her back into the crib (she's wailing), tell Yoav I'm having a not-coping moment, and go to make the freshly pumped milk into a bottle for Little Miss Thang.
Why did I flip so quickly?
(as I type this, Yoav is feeding her the bottle and singing Shema to her, rocking her in the recliner)
I think I got resentful that she interrupted me in the middle of doing something for her - her! What nerve! What chutzpa!
Okay, fine, she's 5 months old. Teenagers (my past self included) are often less considerate than my daughter. But it's late in the day, I'm very frustrated that she's been sleeping so unsteadily, and I resent her drinking this milk now because I want to freeze it for her. That's normal and healthy, right?
It would appear I'm a little concerned about returning to work next week.
Enjoy this picture of her from the other day, showing off her new highchair.
I will now eat chocolate.