I am having a serious love-hate relationship with money. I hate that it's necessary. I love to have it. I love to SPEND it, which is different than loving to have it. I love to have it because it's the security of knowing I COULD spend it.
Two days ago I went to the money changer to change my unspent dollars from my trip back into shekel to pay Llama's metapelet (love it, hate it, love it, hate it). With two minutes to spare before I had to go pick up the kids, I waltzed into the bookstore. Why? Masochism, I guess.
Within seconds I found a book for Sarah Rochel that she NEEDS. No really, she does! It's a Pesach book - oh, well, here is the Purim one, I can't find "Tell Me the Story of the Haggadah" for sale online - and it's comprehensive and Israeli-based (meaning the imagery is Israeli, so the houses are apartments and the tiles and sinks look like ours; it's more relateable) and it's totally on her level, perfectly. Sroch does have some Pesach books of course, but none are truly from a shtark Torah-perspective (and of course, one or two don't mention God at all, leading to funny lines like "Moses heard a voice and went to Pharaoh and said..." - um, a voice from WHERE? It's the skitzo's haggadah! But I digress...).
And it's 110 shekel.
And I leave the store, and go pay the metapelet her 1310 shekel for all of last month (a tremendous bargain in childcare - it's approximately $350, I know, I know, including all the extra stuff while I was gone).
And... and... and there should be a LAW that when you want to spend money on something EDUCATIONAL on your children, you can do it, period. You should be able to walk up to the bookstore man, sign on the dotted line your intention to use the item purely for educational purposes and not just to waste time or entertain, and then poof, you get it at cost, if nothing else.
Sigh. God forbid, I'm not complaining. My husband and I both have good jobs, we manage to pay our mortgage, oh, almost all the time ;), we have everything we need to live and many things that are perks, my daughters' wardrobes are 99% courtesy of Bubbie & Savta Personal Shoppers (TM)... I am NOT complaining about our finances. Hashem is endlessly kind to us, in all ways, and I am grateful every day for all our blessings, for blessings they are.
I'm just complaining about being an adult.
I do wish... I wish I could buy my kids all the toys and books in the world. I don't need a bigger apartment, but I want Sarah Rochel to have her own real laptop, I want Shulamis to have a gallery of fifty different talking toy phones and her own mp3 player (she loves music), I want a massive outside plastic slide complex for them (a mere 6700 NIS in Israel, that's more than three times the price in America), I want I want I want I want THEM to have, not me! And I don't want it for them because they ask for it - I want it for them because... because I love them.
(Incidentally, I also am tempted to feed Sarah Rochel candy and cookies all day. I did not say my love was always rational.)
Which is why when the metapelet gave me back 100 shekel today because I accidentally overpaid her, I got 10 shek from Yoav and bought the book. :)
Okay, okay, end of grownup rant. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.