Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Gradually, 1 + 1 = 2

It is wonderful to watch the girls learning to play with each other.

Shulamis is a BIG girl these days - learning her pretend play with
fake food and dolls and so on, and absolutely positively NOT wanting
to be left out of the action when Sarah Rochel has a host of friends
over. I am (thank you God!) hearing fewer and fewer "she's bothering
me!"'s, not that they are gone entirely, but more and more Shulamis is

It's best when it's the two of them alone though. Sarah Rochel seems
to often enjoy the younger satellite - after all, Llama never fusses
that it's HER turn to be the mommy! Well, at least not intelligibly.

So often I get to hear, "Baby, baby, come!" and Shulamis will toddle
off to play hide and seek (they hide together - I have to find them),
'pretend restaurant,' to look at the turtle, to climb on the headboard
of Sarah Rochel's bed to look out the window (be still my beating
heart), to read books, and to eat treats, of course.

Sarah Rochel, on the other hand... Sarah Rochel is currently my
graduate thesis on Parenting the Incontinent. No no, God forbid, she's
not that bad. But she does have accidents. Lots of them. And is
utterly non-remorseful.

Sticker charts, positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement - been
there, done that, have the puddle on the floor. Now mind you, she's
FOUR - I keep having to remind myself she is being utterly NORMAL.

However... !!!

This week's parenting theory is straight Faber and Mazlish - we are giving her autonomy over the issue, and we have told her so. No more asking if she's wet or dry, no more anything. She takes care of it if there's a problem, she decides if she's sleeping in a diaper or underwear (sadly, in a fit of desparation I put her in a diaper after a series of accidents, which she protested mightily, but now sees as a relief from stress overnight, I guess), and she deals with any mess that is made (that hasn't been tested yet - we'll see). Lots of "I know you can keep your underwear dry when you're ready to," lots of "you're in charge of this issue," like that. We shall see.

On the other hand, Shulamis's's's favorite book (aside - she's so
cute, finally at the stage when she totes over a ''boo! boo!" and
demands you read it to her) is the toilet training one with the button
that makes a flushing sound. We'll see who gets there first...

(note them checking out the turtle together in the second picture (zoom in))

This was the official Shavuos picture in Yerushalaim. Note Sarah Rochel's crown with the two crowns on it.

This was our conversation on erev Shavuos:

"Mommy, we have to go to Yerushalaim now!!"

Why Sroch?

"Because it's almost Shavuos, and we have to get to Har Sinai!"

Sarah Rochel baby, we got the Torah on Har Sinai, but it's not in Yerushalaim, and really nobody goes there any more - it was just where we got the Torah before we went to Eretz Yisroel. Now that we're in Eretz Yisroel, we don't need to go back to Har Sinai.

"But I REALLY WANT TO go to Har Sinai! (pause) I want to see the two keters (crowns)."

What two keters?

"The keter of naase and the keter of nishma!"

At this point, I have to stop and hug her very tightly and collect myself from crying - and also figure out what the heck to say to this child who is showing such a love for Hashem and Torah and mitzvos, but doesn't understand yet the intangibility of these things. She also thinks her grandparents are all old enough to have been at Har Sinai in the first place. Because Hashem rocks, I am inspired to say..

Sarah Rochel sweety pie, you can't see the keters ("No, I want to!"), you can't see them because you're already wearing both of them! You're not wearing them on your guf (body) but on your neshama (soul). All of the yidden who do mitzvos are wearing them on their neshamas!

Phew. She bought it. But you know? It's true. :)

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