Friday, July 29, 2011

Liveblog of Potty Day (TM)

8:40 AM: We are naked with underwear, and have happily flushed about 12 tissues down the toilet. We have yet to actually do anything that would require flushing, however.

Aside: this process is much harder when the subject is so hoarse I can't understand anything she's saying.

8:49: bad parenting to the rescue! We're going to watch a video!

9:36: Um, don't you have to go yet?
10:08: like seriously kid... and stop crying because we turned off Elmo!

12:38 PM: I don't believe this. She still hasn't 'made' anything, in or out of the potty. Isn't there a statute of limitations on a two year old's bladder?

1:15: Sroch is home, and she decides to take Llama to the bathroom with her. So away they go and then I hear Sroch's "Oh!!!!!". I sprint, Llama is standing a foot from her potty and starting to sob. I thrust her onto the potty, and she stays there, crying throughout.


Anyway, we get cleaned up and she helps clean up too, very nicely. Clean underwear, okay, we're back in the game.

1:45: Llama starts crying that she wants her diaper and she wants to be little. I ask her if she needs to go to the bathroom, anything - nothing, nothing, only semi-hysterical open mouthed sobbing (remember, she's hoarse, I can hardly understand her when she talks and she's pretty much opting not to talk). She's beside herself, and I realize... perhaps this is not going to work by force.

1:50: in a diaper, which (I know you're all suspecting) she does NOT then immediately fill. I make her pack away all of her adorable undies that she picked out herself, and summon my full parenting wisdom and manage to say in a smiling, encouraging way that I know when SHE is ready to wear them, she'll let me know. Smile, beam, smile, turn away and mutter grumbly things.

Llama goes over to the gold chair to lie down. I ask if she wants to go to sleep - No, don't want to take a nap! Okay, fine.

2:11: Fast asleep. Huh. I guess it was a stressful morning.

Shoot. Now what?

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Coming attractions

Tomorrow is POTTY DAY here at the Dru-You Corral, where we attempt to take Llama from diaper wearer to underwearererer.

Will be live blogging!

Inbetween puddles!


The sound of you-really-should-be silent

Llama is hoarse (she caught my cold. Or I caught hers. Or whatever). It's hysterical to listen to her.

These were last night. She's a bit better today. She kept walking around yesterday saying (squeaking) "my vol got lost" (could 'vol' be a contraction of 'voice' and 'kol' (which is voice in Hebrew?).

Friday, July 22, 2011


Llama, what kind of chicken should I make for shabbos?

"Not the sad chicken."

Not the sad chicken?

"No, not the sad chicken. Only make the better chicken."


Thursday, July 21, 2011

6 hours of driving...

6 hours of driving
400 kilometers
1/2 a tank of gas (ooh, good mileage!)
2.5 energy drinks (for me, not the kids)
7 pieces of string cheese
10 soy hot dogs
1 package smiley cookies
(assorted shabbos treats)
9.5 times listening to Uncle Moishy Volume 3
8 "why aren't we there yet"s from Sroch
4 "I want to go home! Want go Beit Shemesh!" from Llama
2 "don't want Beit Shemesh!" from Llama (upon return)
1 fall-and-topple-over-a-chair-in-the-Ari-shul-in-the-middle-of-shemone-esrei-and-cry-hysterically incident

...all equaled a lovely shabbos in Tzfat, where we went to join Yoav who was there with camp.

Sroch on the way out, "Mommy, we can't leave Tzfat*!" Why, Sroch? "Because it's just too beautiful!"

*For most of the trip she kept calling it Bnei Brak. I'm pretty sure she knew the difference. Pretty sure.

So maybe neither girl slept as much in the car as she should have. Nu nu.


I'm about to blog, but I keep getting up because Llama with a stuffed nose is getting up every two minutes to ask for a new tissue.

So I give her a whole pack.

So she gets up every two minutes to throw her tissue in the garbage.

So I tell her to leave the dirty ones in the bed, and we'll throw them all away in the morning.

Whoops - as I type, here she comes... ah. Sippy cup refill.

My prediction: soon she'll come out asking for more tissues, as she will have finished the entire package and will be sleeping in a bed of pristine-but-crumpled tissues.

***Edit: so far, safe on the tissues, but she's already come out again for a diaper change (unnecessary). She is exhausting her arsenal, though - and her mother.

****Edit again: she came back out to ask for powder for her tushy. Tough kiddo. Back in bed!

This is what it's supposed to look like in there:

*****Surprise! And this time she says...nothing. Out of ideas. I gave her the Big Girl Bed ultimatum (threat of crib) and before I can finish typing this sentence, she's back! Argh!... Okay, put her in the crib, she cries, offer her another chance, sad nod, back in the bed.

Here's hoping!

********No sooner did I click 'publish post' did she come out - again! Cry cry cry, Sroch is stirring, so I did what any good mother would do.

I dumped the child into her father's bed.

Off to wash dishes. Goodnight!

Monday, July 04, 2011

Waiting for Saba and Savta

They should be here any minute. Flight was delayed, so the girlies have been waiting all day.

It's 10:30 and they're still awake!!

Sroch just popped out (for the millionth time) and said, "Mommy, can you turn off the air conditioner, because it makes me think Savta is already here!"

Oh, the things kiddos notice... :)


I never blogged about the tick on Llama's ear, or the nasty blood-tinged mess that came out of the opposite ear a week later (alas, ear wax - um, literally).

I never blogged about Sroch's ballet recital.

I never blogged about Llama's slow transition to wanting to be 'big' and not 'little', so far culminating in her having slept one night in the Little Bed (as opposed to Tall Bed (Sroch's) or Cribby) and many, many random stalling trips to 'make' that have not once yet resulted in actual production of bodily fluids on the receptacle.

I never blogged about Sroch's end of the year party.

I never blogged about how Llama refuses to wear short-sleeves, pants, short skirts and wants only socks that go "all the way," or tights, ideally. Sheesh! She's 2!

I never blogged about how both of my children have recently asked me if there's a baby inside my belly (ahem. I am not aware of any such developments, just to confirm, but harumph!) (I choose to believe it's due to everyone having a baby lately, and not my petite self).

I never blogged about Shavuos at Cheryl's house. I never blogged about my show. And shoot, I never got around to blogging Sroch's 5th birthday. Booger!

I never blogged about how we are like the worst parents in the world, in such denial that our baby will be 3 before we know it but when she's fussing and grumpy we go get her pacifier so as to calm her - and not because she asks for it, but because we think she's a baby! But she's not!

I never blogged about how my neighbor figured out why I cry at EVERY little thing - but that at least really deserves a blog post.

I never blogged this conversation:

Llama: Mommy!
Mommy: Yes Llama?
Llama: Not you Mommy, dis Mommy!
Sroch: Mommy, she keeps calling me mommy, and I don't like it!
Mommy: Maybe because that's because you always play with her pretending to be the mommy?
Sroch: Well now I don't like it.
Mommy: So tell her.
Sroch: Fine. Llamis? Srochel doesn't want to be the mommy. Please don't call me mommy anymore, okay?
Llama: You mommy!
Sroch: MOMMY!
Mommy: (collapses in laughter)

And I never posted any of these adorable pictures. How silly of me.