Nine days aftermath, sorting laundry while we sang "darks darks darks" to the tube of the bass line of 'Louie Louie.'
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
For dinner, Sroch wanted a restaurant with a menu. So we took a drawing of a fifteen-legged spider she made a few days ago, and I, made the back into the menu for Cafe Spider (no spiders in the food) (I hope!).
Sroch ordered for her and her daughter, Llama. Then she took a pencil and drew in juice on the menu- and ordered it. Punk.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
As my children get older and more, well, what's the word for taking-over-the-house-y? It's hard to focus on aveilus, on mourning. Right now Sroch's morning playgroup thing is winding down in the other room (it was half here, half at another house) and the hollers and peals of laughter don't feel very 9th-of-Av-y. Llama is at a camp program finishing in 45 minutes, then Sroch is going to ANOTHER organized program.
This morning on the floor, I ended up not watching a shiur but a documentary on the Gush Katif, ahem, "disengagement."
Oh Hashem. Oy. Crying, crying.
It's a very relevant connection to the destruction of the batei mikdash, of course. Because there too we had to walk away from that which we'd built, loved, grown, and walk into exile. Because then too all the begging and pleading just didn't work.
The soldiers, those poor young men and women who were just doing what they were ordered to, though it hurt them, were (hope this is not blasphemous) like God during the destructions. A sympathetic, even a loving face, while the hand pushed them out the door, carried them out the door.
The kina says, "alei tzion keareiya kmo isha betzureia" - we wail for Jerusalem like a woman wailing in labor. As I recall - vividly - the wailing in labor I did was because I thought: this is futile. I'm never going to get anywhere, this pain is beyond what I can live through, I am going to die and everything is bleak and black and broken (they tell me that's called 'transition').
In many ways, it would be easy to think our wailing now is the same. It's been thousands of years since we had a Temple in Jerusalem. Surely our crying now is futile. Surely there's no hope.
Our pain is likened to a woman in labor because she DOES get somewhere in the end. There IS a goal, and a purpose, and two seconds after the baby is born you go - oh. That was transition, not red-hot-death-with-iron-rods-in-my-lower-back. Oh.
We are getting closer.
We are getting so much closer.
My children WILL see the rebuilt Beis Hamikdash in Yerushalaim. You'll see.
...because without that belief... the pain is just too much.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Once a time there was a baby in the house that was our (sic)
That called Shulamis and once a time there another baby that called Srochel
And we, and we are are a nuh uh uh we-e from from
And also we can't know know
And I have a lot of flowers that I made in school
And that's very cutey
So is flau tu (?)
And it's pretty for shabbos
From the sun, from Shu-uhlamis
And this is the picture from Sar... from Shulamis
So maybe I just gave them to Savta to mail in America because I never use the mail. Oops.
So when we received mondo package-of-joy from Bubbie and Zayde, I made sure to quickly get my children to do their generation's version of thank you notes: YouTube!
Heaven's to betsy, what WILL they do after their weddings? But I digress.
I look the liberty of writing transcripts of their thank yous.
I miss you, I miss you! I love you so much! I really will be in Beit Shemesh, so thank you, thank you! You are lucky (dance number) Goodbye camera!
Hello. My name is Sarah Rochel. And thank you Bubbie for this yummy Hello Kitty, yummy yummy yummy. Thank you! It has red, pink and orange. Thank you. And I want to show you something else that you didn't buy for me, Savta bought it for me, but I want to show you, 'kay? [producer's comments] First I need to put it on here. Hello! See what it is? Ding!! It's, it's a yalkut, and I got a ball with it. Wait, bentaim (ed: meanwhile) you can look at it. [producer's comments] No, wait! And here's the ball that went in it, because it was supposed to be, it was on the top so it needed to be fat and good. So they put a ball in it. And he said it's bishvil hayalda, (ed: for the girl) yay! [producer's comments] Goodbye!
Sroch's face totally lights up and says, "Why don't you and Abba get married again so we can have more children in our family?!"
Um, Sroch. No, I like Abba, I want to stay married to him.
She does not see this as a contradiction.
"So you and Abba will pick somebody you both want to have in the house too!"
This doesn't even get a WPO. This gets a "I'll explain it when you're older."