Tonight my girls let me sing them to sleep.
I had already left their room after tucking them in with various and sundry dolls (matching doll and daughter pajama sets!) and stuffed llamas, this following our bedtime activity of Hair Salon (washing their hair in the new sink, in lieu of baths) and Nail Salon (cutting nails).
I actually starting cleaning up as opposed to collapsing or computing, and I was singing. Then they called me back in to ask for a story. It being eight PM already, I declined, but offered to sing loudly enough that they could hear me with the door open.
So I folded laundry, singing All Girls Are Princesses at the top of my lungs (lyrics slightly amended)... and when I finished, they clapped.
Sroch asked me to keep singing whatever I wanted, because "everything you sing is so beautiful!"
I sang "Lean on Me." I sang Beatles - "I've Just Seen A Face" (the song I sang them in the hospital), "Blackbird" and "I Will." I sang Yedid Nefesh too.
And I remembered the conversation I had an hour beforehand with a friend who gives singing lessons. She was telling me about how singular it is to be teaching children and adults who are coming from ultra-orthodox backgrounds, the way in that she loosens them up to release something deep inside of them, people who are used to safeguarding to whom and how their innermost thoughts are revealed. She mentioned also that two sisters were having trouble doing a warm-up with her, until she proved to them they weren't, as they feared, "doing it wrong."
And I remembered how having just one voice lesson back in December was transformative to me personally, because while I was singing all my life, this was the first time an Independent Authority told me I was doing it "right."
I sang to my babies throughout their babydom, but they are graduated from the same now. And so only a handful of times since that voice lesson, since I was a chorus member in a show (as opposed to being just a pretty face, or more accurately a buffoon), since I felt really comfortable as a capital-s Singer, have I sung for my babies just because "everything you sing is so beautiful."
So thank you, babies. I think everything you sing is so beautiful too.